Oh, the holidays

So Thanksgiving has come and gone and that was......different. Have you ever been some place, repeatedly, yet still feel like you never really belonged there? That about describes my relationship with the boy's aunts. You think after 14 years of in knowing them, 11 years of attending holidays-and contributing in some way, that I would feel more welcome.

Nope.

Quite the opposite. I have always felt on the outside of this family. And of course, with it looming that we will be moving to another state, it's upped the awkward level a bit. I do strive to be better than I was, I suppose. Seriously though, I'm basically down to one aunt who will speak to me, their father, and the uncle who married in. And the kids, of course, but even then only the oldest of them treat me normal.

Have I mentioned these are my exes siblings? Yeah. You want a good awkward level, I got one for you.

All I know is thoughts of next year got me through the day. I am so excited to be able to do things our way. To be able to have people over who will actually eat what I make, and not complain that it's not processed or pre-made. I've already started compiling recipes, and it's going to be great.

Now... I just have to make it semi-sanely through the next 30 days. California and wedding, here we come!

The Final Pieces Coming Together

While packing up the boxes to ship ahead of us to Cali, I have this sinking feeling that something is being forgotten.  I've packed up the flowers, bouquet cake topper and garter.  I've gone over lists and double checked them.  Yet, I still feel like there was something in those lists that were forgotten.  This may be something that I wind up feeling up until it's all over, and I'll either remember what it was or realize that I was going insane.

I'm probably going insane.

This week is Thanksgiving.  It'll be interesting to see how this unfolds as I haven't spoken to the boy's aunt since his birthday in August.  I really would like to avoid all drama and move on with life, being able to just enjoy the holidays as the holidays, but that isn't going to happen.  At least not this year.

Or I'll be incredibly wrong and it won't be as bad as I'm prepping myself for.  Though the news of us moving went pretty much exactly as I expected it would.  One can hope that this doesn't get dragged out up until we actually do leave.  I feel like we should be enjoying these lasts that are happening here, so we can embark on what will be a life of firsts for us.  These should be the events that are laying down the foundations of the ability and want to connect going forward.  Whether that be through Skype calls, FaceTime, VideoChat, or something that will keep us all connected.  With the internet at our fingertips, thinking that a simple move is the end all be all is just sad and closed minded.

Families and traditions evolve and to think that they will be the same forever is unreasonable.  There is so much to help keep family together, it just takes the want and the effort to actually do so.

Christmas Shopping

In the midst of all the wedding planning, I still have Christmas shopping to do. Part of me feels like most people would understand if I don't buy presents, while the other part of me know that some will still be passed if I don't.

The easiest to shop for, of course, is the boy. And let's face it, being he is my only child, I may or may not enjoy shopping get for him anyway. So there's that. Not to mention he shares my nerdiness, so I'm able to share in the enjoyment when he does get thing I like. He's dangerously close to absolutely beating me in Mario Kart. I don't know whether to be sad or proud.

Being in Cali, there's my Cali people I need to purchase for. Online shopping to the rescue! However, me being me, I'm finding the sites I want to purchase for are not ones that offer gift wrapping. What? Yeah. So this will be interesting while I'm in my bffs parents house trying to wrap their presents.

Oh but then there's the fun part. Everyone here who we will job be seeing for Christmas for the first time in 11 years. I'm planning on having their presents all wrapped and ready to go. Most may be gift cards.  Most of them won't mind. Heck, I love getting gift cards because then I get to buy random things I don't want to spend my money on! (autocorrect says spend my kidney on either, which is also true) I'm certain there will be a couple who will totally judge me for it though.

So here's my question for you. For those who are planning huge events around holidays, do you still expect them to spend copious amounts in gifts, or is sharing in their celebration enough?

Planning, planning, planning

My first marriage was a quick, small wedding.  While it wasn't a courthouse wedding like most "A" school kids (I was 19 at the time, fresh out of bootcamp) it may as well have been.  It was thrown together in 2 weeks, the pastor was a friend of my exes family, and it was in a church I've only set foot in once since then, and that was to attend another wedding.  My fiance's previous marriage was a courthouse wedding.  When we sat down to plan, we knew there were some things that each of wanted that we didn't get out of the previous marriages.  Well, aside from a lasting relationship and a successful marriage.  But those were the obvious things.

I wanted specific people to be there.  While only one of my best friend's was able to attend my first wedding, that was pretty much it for my attendees.  The rest were all my exes family.  I wanted people I actually care about to be there and celebrate with us.  My fiance wanted a real wedding ceremony.  Not just the JOP giving his spiel and peace out.  So we sat down and put together what would make us both happy.

The big pieces were the easy part.  Venue, food, officiant, guests....all easy.  Heck, even my dress was shopped for and purchased in a day.  I am definitely not a "Type-A" bride.  Online shopping all the way.  In fact, I go this weekend for my fitting to see the alterations that were made to the dress I purchased.  I can't wait!  But then the details.  Shoes.  Oh, the story with the shoes.  I almost choked an online chat representative, through the internet, while ordering shoes.    We don't have to worry about decor, or music, or any of that, but there was still things like a cake topper, garter, bouquet, and favors to deal with.  And wedding bands.  Not to mention where we were going to stay during the week, what to do in lieu of a reception, where to have that, and transportation.

You know what I learned?  Bridezillas are not crazed brides.  They are brides who have finally snapped under stress.  I have already had at least 2 meltdowns.  The first being over the guest count alone.

Some details seem bigger than they are.  The cake topper and garter were actually fairly easy to get.  Once we knew what we wanted, it was a matter of finding where to get it.  Have I mentioned my love for online shopping yet?

Check lists are your friend.  Google them for ideas, modify them as your own.  Check them often.

Phase two

Picking a date and venue shouldn't have been too hard. Or, one would think. Okay, so I would think. I'm not going to lie, I totally didn't believe that a wedding could be that hard. Not the kind I want. Nothing big. No need for a huge party. Just a tight gathering of those we hold closest, a nice dinner, and something fun to end the night. I don't like cake, so a nice dessert instead and we're good, right?

I'll wait for the laughing to die down.

No, really, I've seen the error of those ways.

Did I mention we decided on winter break? After Christmas? Oh, and in another state? Oh yeah. 

Challenge accepted.

Now anyone who has dealt with the military know that planning anything is rough. Suffice it to say that this was going to be the best date for us, given everything else we have to take into account. But really, we are planning something small (no more than 30 people) and nothing extravagant. So far things are going well, even with some diy portions, and I'm hoping that the feeling of "what will go wrong"  will subside come the day of.

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Phase one

After getting engaged, we waited about a week or so to tell everyone. It was nice to have just that time between us to just enjoy the moment.

Then came the telling of the people. Oh, the people. Of course the majority was congrats and people saying they are happy for us. Honestly no one has said that we're crazy or asked if we were sure. That's what happens when you're in your 30s. Obviously the total opposite to when I was 19.

Then came the fun part. The realization that we would be moving away. My son is now 11, and we have lived in this state for his entire life. His, though. Not mine. I'm originally born and raised on the west coast, and found myself here after my time in the military and after a divorce. My exes family all live here. Needless to say, news of our leaving was not taken well.  The holidays will be interesting.

The boy, on the other hand, is super excited to move. Prospects of experiencing new things and not being in frigid cold during the winter are both exciting for him. We have been very careful to make sure he understands everything that is happening and why. Makes for much better living. And as an added bonus, his dad is also on board with our move. So, there's that.

Here's to hoping others lighten up before we leave.

That time I almost burned off my fingerprints

You know how they have this stuff called "hot glue"?  And how it comes out of a "glue gun"?  Yeah, they are not playing when they say that ish is hot!  Keep in mind I have learned this before in life.  I was the ripe age of 16 and at a Girl Scout campout.  We were crafting and making teepees.  I got myself on the skin between your thumb and forefinger with the tip of my glue gun.  A fun time, that was not.

Not long ago I got the brilliant idea to make my bouquet.  Like, MAKE my bouquet.  Not assemble.  Not purchase.  But legit, create from nothing, bouquet.

Who wants to do things the easy way?

So to the Google and Pinterest machines I went.  Well, in part, the idea did stem from my best friend's wedding just a few weeks back.  She made paper flowers that were totally cute.  But I don't have time or patience for that.  So what do I think will work up nice and easy?  Oh, I'll tell you.  Ribbon.  And not just simple, fold and spin ribbon roses.  No.  Ha!  That would have been WAY too easy.  I had to decide on 5-6 point flowers, with cutting, sewing and gluing together.  And again, you would think I would have learned from years ago that a hot glue guns, well , hot.

I glued my fingers at least 3 times. I stabbed myself with a needle at least 20 times. I may have also damaged my eyesight by staring directly I to a flame for an extended period of time. But, I am happy to report that the bouquet is complete, and I didn't burn the house down.

DIY Invitations and how to not kill your printer

I haven't mentioned it yet, but both the fiance and I are pretty computer savvy. I actually taught myself a little photoshop to pass the time when the boy was younger. I also like to try my hand at things that seem cheaper to make, than to buy.

With that in mind, let me tell you a tale. This tale starts out nicely, where my photoshop and I have a loving relationship. I take the time to lovingly pie e together an invite that looks like I spent some sort of my eye on it and didn't just use Microsoft Paint.  The perfect shade of blue. Just right nautical stars. The perfect size and angled anchors. I ordered my card stock and envelopes. They arrived with such speed, I was excited to print the and assemble the envelopes. I even splurged on self-adhesive envelopes!

I am a friend to technology. I use it on the regular. In fact, most of my posts are drafted through mobile, because...lazy. Not the point. Airplanes and my wifi, however, not friends. I live in a flight path. My printer is wireless.  When said planes fly over said wifi connection, said connection decides to blink.  Blinking means interrupting the print job.  Which means half a printed invitation.  Now, let us discuss exactly how happy I am to have bought the pack of card stock that had 100+ invites in it.  (we won't discuss that that was the smallest pack I could purchase)  It took three printing attempts and two computers before we realized what was going on.  I was done.  So done.  I was going to throw everything out the window and set up a FaceBook invite.  Because.  Klassy.  So much so that it needed a K.  

Moral of the story?  Check your wireless connection, sit near your router, and pet the printer while telling it that it really is special.  I promise, that totally works.  Totally.